Friday, March 11, 2016

I started to become curious for girls. I always found them attractive but I never wanted to do anything with them sexually until a close friend of mine started to flirt with me non stop and give off major hints. I'm going to keep her name a secrete because of our extensive past. Anyways the tension between us built up until one day I just went to her house and we confessed our feelings. We both agreed that we wanted a friends with benefits relationship or an open relationship, so I thought. Due to us hanging out so much she caught feelings for me and started to make me do things for her like walk her to class, kiss her on the cheek in public, and many more things a person in a relationship would do for their significant other. I had no problem doing those things for her because she was my friend and I cared for her. But soon I too caught feelings for her. After that it was all downhill. We were confused on our feelings for each other, our sexualities, and our relationship. The stress and pressure became too much to bare until one day she just had enough and ignored me. We didn't talk for a week. I thought it would be good if we had some space to collect our thoughts and have a break. But the next day at school she's holding hands with who I thought was a good friend. I will also keep this new girl's name private. Either way they became a couple almost overnight and it shocked the entire school. They didn't even know each other the previous week but it's in the past anyways. Both girls blocked me on all social media and they desperately try to get my attention everyday but I ignore them. I wish we could all be friends or again at least friendly with one another but oh well. My peers come up to me everyday saying how she "down graded" and how I could do so much better anyways and that makes me sad. She was a good friend of mine and I really miss all of the wonderful times we shared together. Yes our relationship was a mess but she was one of the best friends I've ever had.  Maybe one day we can smile and wave at one another instead of ignoring each other but either way I'm happier without her in my life. A weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I've never felt better. I'm glad this happened now just in time for the end of my senior year.

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