Sunday, February 21, 2016

About a month passed since Robbie broke up with me and I was still pretty devestated. I was getting better day by day but I still had this melancholy vibe lingering inside me. My neighbor Austin, a sophomore at FSU was fishing outside on our lake one day and asked me to join him. I hadn't talked to him in years so it was really nice to catch up with him and see how he was doing. He was in the Zeta frat at FSU and would tell me all kinds of crazy party stories and since I'm going to TCC I was really interested in what he had to say. I feel like he took that the wrong way. He thought I was interested in him when really I just liked hearing his stories because I'm going to be living up there soon. Either way we had a little friends with benefits relationship for the rest of the summer. I told him I wasn't ready for another relationship right now and at the time he seemed to understand. The end of August came around and Austin went back to school and so did I. A couple weeks passed and we didn't talk to each other and to be honest I kind of forgot about him. Then one day he just started texting me asking how my day was and trying to carry a conversation even though I was really uninterested. He has been obsessed with me ever since then. He texts and calls me everyday to see how I'm doing and even though that's really sweet of him I wish he would just leave me alone. I'm a little scared and intimidated to move up to Tallahassee now.

Friday, February 19, 2016

After Alec and I ended things someone really special came along and he will always be remembered to me as my first love. It was the end of 10th grade only about two more months left and I was ready for it to be over. My grandma had just passed away after being very sick for years and everyday walking past her room was a mission for me. I was very alone ans very distraught for weeks until another boy 'slid into my DMs'. His name was Robert but everyone called him Robbie and he was two years older than me. He was 6'8" tall, super slender, bright green eyes, and a quirky grin that can be spotted miles away. He asked me one April day if I wanted to go to the park with him. I knew him because we hung around the same group of friends so I figured why not it would be good to get out of the house for awhile. He turned my world upsidedown. I never met someone so similar to me. It was like we were the same person, I could really open up and connect with him. From the first day we hungout both of us could feel the chemistry between us. It was all fun and games from then on. We did everything together. Not a second went by where I wasn't with him, on the phone with him, texting him, or snapchatting him. He wasn't just my boyfriend he was my bestfriend. We both knew it was only a matter of time before he had to go off to college and I would be left here in Miami. We didn't let the distance stop us. My whole junior year I soent with him in a long distance relationship. He went to FGCU which is only 2 hours away but to us it seemed like light years away. He came down to visit me twice a month and I would go up once a month. We had our own little system and it worked so well for us all of our friends couldn't believe we were making it work. Out of all of my experiences and relationships I've had I know this was love. I did everything for his happiness that I lost myself along the way. Summer finally came around and we could finally be together I thought. Robbie made me promise not to get a summer job that way we could be together but as soon as he gets back he takes a lifeguarding job where he has to work 9-6 everyday except sundays. I was furious. How could he do this? He made me quit my job for him but he takes this job without even telling me? We got into a huge argument that lasted about a month. When our one year anniverssary rolled around (July 4th) he went M.I.A.  I couldn't get a hold of him. The next day he finally contacts me to tell me it's over. I knew we had our problems but I wasn't prepared to lose him over something so ridiculous. I fought and fought and fought for him but I just couldn't get through to him. A momth passes by and I fell into a deep depression. My family was gone for the summer so I kept the house dark and to myself. I didn't sleep, didn't eat, and didn't talk to anyone for weeks on end. My bestfriend at the time Tyler was so concerned about my health. We thought that I would never get over it. To make matters worse a friend called me and told me that Robbie was with his ex on the fourth of July. The ex that ironically cheated on him. I called up Robbie and he confessed and said that he was in fact cheating on me for more than half of our relationship. At that point I wasn't sad anymore I was over it. Neverless if he called me up today I would answer and be more than friendly with him. He made me feel alive and I thank him for the memories and valuable life lessons he has taught me. Robbie will always be remembered to me as my first love.
After my relationship with John ended I was pretty lonely. This new app called Hot or Not came out and I decided to give it a try. Why not? I met this guy named Alec. He was also a year older than me and he lived in Fort Lauderdale. He was also a professional drift car driver for formula drift. Our first date was something to remember. He drove down in his 1989 dodge dually pickup truck. The truck was falling apart from rust but it ran and he enjoyed working on it in his downtime. We went to what is known as "the hump" which is where all the rednecks go to go mudding. We just wanted to drive down a dirt road and get to know one another. I showed him where to go and what trails to take. The trails I took us on were all really mild and his truck could tackle them easily. However, there was one mud hole. I warned Alec that it could get pretty deep but being a boy and wanting to show off for me he put the pedal to the floor and hit the mud hole. The entire front end of the truck was swallowed by the mud hole. We both stare at each other eyes big and our mouths open. Water began to fill up in the cab of the truck. He tried putting it in reverse in an attempt to back out but it was no use. I had to call my friend Tyler Dixion who has the biggest monster truck in South Florida. Hours pass and we ended up having a really good time talking and getting to know each other until Tyler finally showed up and pulled us out. The front end of the truck was destroyed but Alwc didn't mind. He loved working on his truck anyways. He drove home and sent me a long text about how much fun he had. We went on a couple more dates after that but nothing really sparked between us two. Today we still talk occasionally to catch up. My first date with Alec however will always be remembered as the craziest date I've ever been on.
I was in 10th grade when I had my first serious relationship. His name Was John and he was a year older than me and went to Southridge High. I guess you could say one day he 'slid into my DMs'. He messaged me on instagram telling me how cute I was and how we should fish together sometime. Me having a soft spot for blondes replied rapidly to set up a date to fish. After that the rest is history. We were close and hungout almost everyday for two months. One day we went on a bike ride from my house to Black Point Marina which is about five miles away from my house. Both of us were sweaty and breathing heavily when we finally got to the marina to watch the sunset. He looked over at me with those soft blue eyes that I loved to get lost in. "Danielle will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?". I've never smiled so hard in my life. I reached up and grabbed his face and pulled him in for a kiss. That was one of the best relationships I've ever had and I still think about him every so often. He lived on my street so we would hangout everyday and eventually it got too much for the two of us. I started to distance myself and he began to talk and flirt with another girl who also lived on our street. I found out about the other girl and was obviously furious. His friends told me not to break up with him and that it doesn't mean anything but I couldn't contain myself. On valentines day he showed up to my house with flowers, candy, and a card. I couldn't look him in the eye. I tried my best to hold it in but it built up inside me till I finally caved in. "I can't do this anymore. I'm not happy. You need to leave me alone". Then I slammed the car door and stormed off into my house. John was left there with tears in his eyes and a confused heart. I didn't mean to hurt him so much but my temper got the best of me. Honestly if I would've talked to him we could've worked something out but I was beyond mad. After that day he tried reaching out to me but I shut him out. Now neither of us look at each other. He works at Publix and sometimes it's awkward when I go into his checkout line. We exchange looks but no words from either of us. I still wish I could go back and handle things differently or say I'm sorry but it's too late. John will also forever be with me in my memories along with Mario.
I can still remember my first boyfriend. Sixth grade, Mario Sanchez. I still remember the day he asked me out like it was yesterday. It was justt another day in April when he passed me a note that said, "bs my girlfriend? check yes or no". I looked up from the paper nervously and saw him staring at me then he winked and turned back around. I'd never been so scared in my life. Then all of a sudden he got up and asked to use the bathroom and left class not without giving me another wuick wink. My friends all turned around and started telling me to go follow him. "Danielle you have to go follow him, he wants you". To be honest I didn't really want to, sure I liked Mario but I wasn't ready to take such a big step. After about five minuets of my friends nagging me I finally got up and asked to go to the bathroom too. The teacher gave me the pass and as soon as I stepped foot into the hallway I was grabbed and pushed up against the wall. Mario grabbed my waist and kissed me. Those were the longest ten seconds of my life. So many emotions started to rush through my brain. He let go and said "I'll take that as a yes". He returned to class while I stayed there pressed up against the wall stunned. My fingers feeling my lips, did that really just happen? I didn't even say yes. I felt forced. The relationship lasted until the summer where we decided to end things because he was moving away to Las Vegas. We never went on any dates or anything we would just see each other at school and kiss in the hallway, no tongue, just a long slow smooth kiss. Mario actually came back to Miami and I see him around school sometimes. We haven't talked since sixth grade but he will always remain in my memory